Q&A with Lyle Bauer

Those who know the man well – or have even just been around or associated with him – will tell you Lyle Bauer is many things.

He’s a hall of famer and Grey Cup champion, a husband, father, successful businessman and served as the front man who helped bring the Winnipeg Blue Bombers back to life at the start of the millennium.

All of that would make the 59-year-old’s story compelling enough on its own.

But Bauer is a man who has been very public about his fight with cancer and his efforts to help those struggling to deal with the disease. And that alone is what makes ‘What Doesn’t Kill You: The Lyle Bauer Story’, written by Robert Allan Young, such a riveting and inspirational read.

Young exchanged over 6,000 e-mails and recorded hours upon hours of personal interviews in his research, and the results are evident in the work.

All the proceeds from ‘What Doesn’t Kill You: The Lyle Bauer Story’ will go to help programming at the Never Alone Foundation and to the Canadian Football League Alumni Association Support Fund. It is currently available in the Bomber Store, local book stores, and on Amazon.ca.

When Lyle Bauer, (right) shown here with David Asper at a recent news conference, walks around Winnipeg these days, it takes longer than usual to do his errands. The Blue Bombers president and chief executive officer is stopped by football fans gushing about the CFL team’s successful start. (CP PHOTO/Winnipeg Free Press-Phil Hossack)

Recently, bluebombers.com and Bauer chatted about the book:

How did you meet Robert Young and how did you two decide to team up and write a book?

I met Robert Young many years ago when I was in the real estate industry. He also assisted with some work at the Never Alone Foundation a few years ago. I had been encouraged to write this book for some time, as people believed my journey could be beneficial to many people in the future. I tried to do it myself but couldn’t talk about myself or get comments from players, coaches, and others that were honest and revealing. I was looking for someone who was a great writer but had also experienced tragedy, pain, recovery, and had compassion.

Robert had tragedy his own with the loss of his son in the 1997 flood and went through something I could never imagine. He was able to extract things from my teammates, friends, family and others that put the reality into this book. There are some tough things in there that I could never have written .

Did you find the process therapeutic at all?

I’m not sure it was ‘therapeutic.’ However, it certainly did open some old wounds and also make me again appreciate the people I have had in my life that were there and still are.

What do you remember about the first moment you found out you had cancer?

When I was first told I had cancer I was in the recovery room from exploratory surgery. I pretty much freaked out and started hyper-ventilating. The immediate thought was I was going to die. All my wife Heidi and I wanted to do was get the hell out of the hospital and get to our home. It was terrifying. So many things rushed through our minds. Our world had just been turned upside down.

How has your battle changed your perspective on everything?

You were there for a significant part of my recovery and I am sure that you saw a change from the outside. My determination to succeed, fight and win has never changed. However, my compassion and respect for those who fight continues to grow. I also believe that we have an obligation to help each other during our time here and to make a difference in the lives of others.

I say it all the time, but there is a quote from Paul Shane Spear: “As one person, I cannot change the world. But I can change the world of one person.” That is the mantra of the Never Alone Foundation and something I try to live by every day.

Lyle Bauer, a former star offensive lineman with the Winnipeg Blue Bombers, smiles at a news conference in Winnipeg, Tuesday, Feb.15, 2000 where he was named the CFL team’s new general manager. (CP PHOTO/Winnipeg Free Press-Wayne Glowacki)

Millions of people have faced the challenge of fighting cancer. What made you decide to be so public about your fight and so determined about helping through the Never Alone Foundation?

Few people want to speak out about having cancer. It was and has been viewed as a death sentence in many circles. I still experience it today. People always ask, “How is your health?” People are passed over for jobs because of a previous cancer diagnosis and I have personally had that play into my professional career. People fighting cancer need support, but what I can tell you is those who have gone through this journey and come out the other side are changed for eternity. They are driven, compassionate, and know they have another chance, hence they are better people personally, professionally and spiritually.

Going public wasn’t easy. Heidi didn’t want to as she is very private and we already lived in a fish bowl. I knew I had a platform and a soap box to make a difference no matter the outcome. And of course, you know I always liked an audience!

What do you miss about being involved in football, both as a player and as an executive?

I miss the locker room, the players, the challenge, game day and the great staff I worked with over the years. Football is the greatest team sport there is and I am so proud of what we were able to accomplish with the Bombers under the most-dire of circumstances as well as my success with the Stampeders. It is the people I worked with that made things happen from the board, to management, to players, to staff, to volunteers. And the fans. Man, I miss talking to the fans.

What are your fondest memories in the game and your proudest moments?

Obviously, on the field my proudest moments on the field are the three Grey Cup championships. Off the field, I’m proud of the resurrection of the Bombers from financial abyss to a position of financial stability, which laid the path for a new facility in which they now play. We played very good football, restored respect in the on-field product and went to the Grey Cup on shoe-string budgets. To produce playoff teams while fighting a huge debt is a monumental task. I am also proud that we paid off the creditors of the club 100%. No supplier lost money dealing with the Bombers and we took care of the past issues while moving forward with a successful plan.

My only regret is that we couldn’t deliver a championship for our fans and for players like Milt Stegall, Doug Brown, Troy Westwood and so many others as well as the late Jerry Maslowsky. That still stings but you can’t play the game as management, you can only try and put the pieces together.

How do you hope your book might inspire or impact readers?

I hope that the book gives people some insight into who I am, as many will never know or meet me. I also believe it will provide inspiration and hope for people and their families who will journey down this path through no fault of their own.

It will also raise funds for programming at the Never Alone Foundation as well as to contribute to the Canadian Football League Alumni Association Support Fund to support my gridiron brothers who face their own battles.

One thing that needs to be clear: No one is profiting from this book. Robert Young donated his time and I receive nothing and am helping to fund the book. The only benefactors are the people and their families who need the help and that is the way it should be.

You may ask why would we do this. Simply put, because we can.

An excerpt from ‘What Doesn’t Kill You: The Lyle Bauer Story’:

“I’m not going to lie,” said Bauer. “It is not an easy thing to find out you’ve got cancer and that you could possibly die.  The truth is we’re all going to die someday, but to have a doctor sit across from you and tell you there’s a possibility of that happening in the near future… it shakes you up.”

“Here’s the thing about cancer, you’re all alone in it. It doesn’t matter who else is there. In an instant, I was taken to a place where everybody else was okay except me. Heidi, who is undeniably committed to me, held my hand, and we wept together. My brothers, Chris, Blackie, West, Gene, Ross, Debra and so many others, came alongside my family and held me up with their support. People from all over the city, the country and the league encouraged us. People came over just to sit in my house and my office to pray with me and for me.

“But all that doesn’t change the fact that at night, when everybody went to sleep, it was just me laying there, staring at the ceiling and wondering am I going to be here when all of this is over? If my eyes were to close because of death, what would happen next?”

“Leading up to that treatment meeting, if I looked into the eyes of my wife or one of my children, it was a fight to hold myself together. But I discovered that inside all the fear and anxiety, behind all the tears, there was a quiet confidence that was starting to build up inside of me. In the days and months to come, my entire world was about to sink in, but because of the love and support around me, I found my footing and was able to take one step at a time.

“If you were to ask people about me today, depending on who they are, they may tell you I am a Grey Cup Champion, or a CEO. But in reality, I’m also a husband, a father, a son and a friend. And here’s the truth that slammed into me in December 2004. One day I may not be running a football team. I may not be Heidi’s husband or my kids’ father. There was a chance I would never get to laugh at one of Walby’s stupid jokes ever again. All those things that truly define who I am could be gone and that still scares me today. The thought of dying can bring an uncanny clarity to one’s life.

“A cancer scare can make one come to terms with who they really are and what they have. When the fog clears, you get a picture of what to hold on to and what to let go. Today, as I look around, I notice my wife grows more beautiful by the hour and my children bring me a new found glory that is beyond words. My three Grey Cup rings don’t quite look the same anymore, but the memories of my brothers that come from winning those rings increase in value every time I look at them.

“There were times in my life when I believed I was tough enough and smart enough to handle anything.  But I have grown exponentially since that day in December 2004. This journey not only changed me as a man outwardly, but more significantly, as a man inwardly. It’s not that my behaviour has changed, but rather the desires of my heart have been modified. I didn’t use to think like this before. I always thought it was my strength and toughness, but I was wrong. Dead wrong. Now I hope when I do go and I’m done with this game, I would be remembered not just as a Grey Cup Champion, but as a faithful husband, a loving father and a close friend.”